What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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