you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
