shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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