dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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