We named our party play list daddy issues
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize