I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
In the future we'll all be gay
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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