fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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