I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
love makes seman taste better
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
