I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
