Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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