i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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