How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
