But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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