Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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