Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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