omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
