Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
