tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
