Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
