At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
