Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
