Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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