How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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