i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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