You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
