I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
