First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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