so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
