I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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