10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we're making bets on your personal life
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize