dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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