Your dad touched me again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry about my life...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
