Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
