I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
