She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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