i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
