He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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