OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
