Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
