so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
