There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I understand Curling. That high.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
