i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
