she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
