You're so nebulous sometimes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
