So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
