he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
