that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize