So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
