You're so nebulous sometimes
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
