I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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