I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
