Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
