I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
