dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
