why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
