Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
