Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
