is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
