Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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