Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
