I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
