Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
