Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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