You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
