He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
