Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize