why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
