HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
